My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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