Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
