you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
im six kinds of drunk right now
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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