so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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