so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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