Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
