i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
