apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
