I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
