The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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