His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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