In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
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