my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
