i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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