she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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