Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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