we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
