whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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