We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
where are my eyebrows?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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