Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
