apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize