What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
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