The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
please don't ironically join a cult
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