you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize