my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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