Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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