What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
