I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
