She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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