Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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