Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I'm always down for nudity.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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