there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
