i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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