Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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