You can't special order awesome
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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