I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i just google imaged poop.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
