So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
