btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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