I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize
