so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
