I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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