Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
