Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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