You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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