Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
