He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
