Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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