So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
