the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
