Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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