YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
