Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
