What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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