That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
