Have you finally orgasmed yet?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
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I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
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We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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