Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
