nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
