woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
there was a trapeze. enough said
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
