is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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