I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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