the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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